I typed the following letter to my husband and taped it to the toilet seat for his return home. I think it is self-explanatory.
When we exchanged marriage vows, I knew our love could withstand virtually anything. The one exception . . . being left in the bathroom with no toilet paper. After nearly twenty years of a successful marriage, our sacred vows were about to come to a crashing halt if it were not for my generous and forgiving heart.
Consider yourself on probation. If you do not change your vile ways, you, the children, and the dog will be left in southern Illinois to live out your dying days with your mother.
Oh--and to answer the question that I know you will ask--extra packages of toilet paper are always located under the vanity in the main floor bathroom and/or in the upstairs linen closet.
Consider yourself warned!
Your favorite wife
His response: To wad up the note and throw it at me like a snowball! Hump! We'll see who is laughing when I leave him with his mother!