We may have this---I don't have any idea about spyware). We periodically review the technology agreement they sign for school (private, religious school) and discuss scenarios of do's and do not's. But Facebook is a whole other issue.
I really struggle with this. I flat out think she's too young; however . . .I see this as her social outlet. As kids, we'd walk to and from school with our friends, go to the ice cream place, talk on the phone, etc. This weekend I put 40 miles on the car just driving to and from friends' houses for sleepovers. They kids are bussed to school. Again with Facebook, we reviewed a bunch of things--especially that EVERYTHING you put on-line could be there PERMANENTLY. I am the only adult allowed to be on her account. She may not post pictures on her account w/o my approval. I have made her password the same as her email password. She knows I will be checking. She knows that I will delete inappropriate entries and defriend inappropriate friends. Even after these discussions, I know something will pop up. (Like that I know she logged on at midnight at a sleepover this weekend and was having a conversation with a friend). Have I just opened a Pandora's box? Or would it be worse to keep that box closed?